Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Lydias first birthday!
Friday, September 5, 2014
Thursday, August 21, 2014
8 Hours of Sleep!
I don't know another time in my life that I've been this excited for 8 hours of sleep. Good gravy!
Life with Lydia is going well. Feeding is happening and is much MUCH less painful for Katie, but is taking forever. We think Katie might have a slow flow, so we're going to meet with a lactation consultant this afternoon. $25 for a half-hour meeting. We figure a little upfront investment is worth not having to pay for formula down the road.
My side of the family traveled back home yesterday. It was really sad to wake up that morning and realize that I wouldn't get to see them today. They were so helpful to us during these first few days with Lydia. Between directly helping out with Lydia, grabbing various supplies and cute baby things, and being a good moral support, being without them has been a difficult transition for me.
I love being able to rest Lydia on my tummy and then rock her to sleep. I've never been so appreciative of being a fat guy in my life! I have a built in perfect baby pillow.
I only have a few pictures for the picture dump today, but expect a bigger dump in the near future when her Grandma Jolley sends me the pictures she took while she was here.
Picture Dump!
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| Happy little family! |
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| She's so little! |
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| What's happening? |
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| Who are you, and what are you doing? |
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| Little Lydia, intoxicated after 3 hours of intermittent feeding |
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Feeding Lydia: Katie's Experience
Hi everyone! This is Katie posting for the first time.
While it seems like I should be taking the opportunity to gush about my sweet little girl, I really want to take the time to talk in detail about my experience with the past week or so breastfeeding. I'm going to go into very frank detail, so this may be a "girls only" read. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with my sharing; please just skip over this if that's the case! There are some things people don't talk about because they're "private", but then the closed-mouth attitude about the topic just means fewer people get help or even know that solutions exist when there's a problem. I'd really like for that not to be the case with breastfeeding struggles.
Everyone told me breastfeeding hurts a lot the first week or two, and then your body adjusts and it's fine. So as Josh mentioned in his post, I put up with a bad latch at first and got into bad habits. I just didn't know any better. It wasn't until a few days of a lot of pain that Josh finally sort of put his foot down. He headed over to YouTube at 4 AM, determined that this awful pain would not be my fate for the next week or more. He was right to do so. We finally saw what a good latch looks like and were able to do a lot to correct Lydia's. We thought it was going to be smooth sailing. At this point though, I was already bleeding and scabbed on both sides, one fairly severely. In retrospect, I should have realized things still weren't right, but I was so far gone with lack of sleep and so focused on coping with the pain that I didn't see the situation clearly.
And then the pain got even worse until Thursday night when I just couldn't cope anymore. Thankfully, Lydia was sleeping a lot in those couple days and so feeding less. But I lived in frank terror of her waking up. Almost every time she stirred, I would break into near-hysterical sobs. Completely at the end of my rope, that night I received a priesthood blessing from my dad. In it, Heavenly Father promised that I could take the steps needed to be able to nurse my baby. Despite having no idea how that path would play out, I knew that I could trust my instincts and proceed a step at a time into the dark, and that Heavenly Father would back me up. So my mom and Josh followed me back to the bedroom to give me some comfort while I tried pumping. I was in so much pain I was afraid even to do that.
Surprise surprise, it it caused very little hurt! The pump was very gentle and I was able to get enough out to feed my sweet baby. Mourning the loss of the bonding of skin contact, I shed some tears every time I fed Lydia from a bottle instead of on my skin. But I was so glad and relieved that I could feed my baby yummy breastmilk without torture for me. Those tears were gentle and mixed with deep, deep gratitude at this answer.
Next day, though, I woke up and noticed redness on my breasts that I knew was indicative of infection. I called the OB's office and explained my symptoms. They told me to come right in. Only Dr.Allphin was in, which was hard for me because male OBGYNs freak me out. However, Dr.Allphin rocks. I've never had a doctor express so much genuine sympathy for my pain. It was quite a comfort to my heart. He got me antibiotics and an ointment custom mixed by Mike's Pharmacy. By that evening, after loading up on both, I was feeling loads better. I couldn't believe I hadn't realized that something was going on besides just the outside damage!
Friday and Saturday, pumping continued as my answer for feeding Lydia. Pumping is kind of crazy. It's a lot of work, and I'm really impressed by the moms who exclusively pump! The pressure to provide enough for sweet baby was fairly intense, and I was always paranoid we'd need to supplement with formula. But we managed to keep up with her needs.
Inside and out, I'm doing much better. The ointment is miraculous and the antibiotics are definitely doing the job. I feel like Wolverine with how rapidly I've been healing! Also, I received so much wonderful advice in response to Josh's call for help. Specifically, a couple friends recommended trying a nipple shield. I put it on my shopping list but didn't take it too seriously. Then Josh's mom, true to her "good fairy" nature, snagged one for me from the store. By that night I had the guts to try it on my left, less-damaged side. The weird little thing works very well. It's a little inconvenient, but worth it for the opportunity it's given me to heal. Sometimes they get a bad rap. There's a really good article here with the basics on nipple shields. I recommend looking into them if you're having persistent latch or damage issues.
Actually, if possible, talk to a lactation consultant at the first sign of trouble. In a perfect world, there would be a lactation consultant in the room right after every delivery, so mom and baby could get off on the right foot from that first precious feed. But short of that, make sure you talk to one literally as soon as possible if something with breastfeeding doesn't seem right to you. Trust your gut. If you think something is wrong, it probably is!
Feeding still has some drama, as I'm still recovering from both the damage and the infection (okay, and from the shell shock from how crazy things have been). I'm coming to realize and trying to accept that the difficulty in feeding Lydia is more like a saga than a single bump in the road. I'll have moments where I think I'm home free and then have my bubble burst by a setback. Breastfeeding is a journey I need to be in on for the long haul. It's difficult facing that, but I'm getting there.
Wish me luck. Contact me if you need support, though I'm obviously no pro. Commiseration can be a welcome gift on its own, if nothing else. I've also figured out some latch tricks the I'd love to share with friends in need. Feed your babies. Breast is best. But also keep in mind some wonderful words of wisdom given by Josh's aunt Tonya: "sometimes it just doesn't work for mom or baby or both and women need to feel okay with that. Sometimes there is such a strong push for the nursing that we make moms feel overwhelmed and like failures when it just doesn't happen. ... Do what you can and whatever it happens to be, it's okay." And when you get discouraged, smell your baby's hair. You'll feel better.
She really fights to wake up when all she wants to do is look around at the world!
While it seems like I should be taking the opportunity to gush about my sweet little girl, I really want to take the time to talk in detail about my experience with the past week or so breastfeeding. I'm going to go into very frank detail, so this may be a "girls only" read. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with my sharing; please just skip over this if that's the case! There are some things people don't talk about because they're "private", but then the closed-mouth attitude about the topic just means fewer people get help or even know that solutions exist when there's a problem. I'd really like for that not to be the case with breastfeeding struggles.
Everyone told me breastfeeding hurts a lot the first week or two, and then your body adjusts and it's fine. So as Josh mentioned in his post, I put up with a bad latch at first and got into bad habits. I just didn't know any better. It wasn't until a few days of a lot of pain that Josh finally sort of put his foot down. He headed over to YouTube at 4 AM, determined that this awful pain would not be my fate for the next week or more. He was right to do so. We finally saw what a good latch looks like and were able to do a lot to correct Lydia's. We thought it was going to be smooth sailing. At this point though, I was already bleeding and scabbed on both sides, one fairly severely. In retrospect, I should have realized things still weren't right, but I was so far gone with lack of sleep and so focused on coping with the pain that I didn't see the situation clearly.
And then the pain got even worse until Thursday night when I just couldn't cope anymore. Thankfully, Lydia was sleeping a lot in those couple days and so feeding less. But I lived in frank terror of her waking up. Almost every time she stirred, I would break into near-hysterical sobs. Completely at the end of my rope, that night I received a priesthood blessing from my dad. In it, Heavenly Father promised that I could take the steps needed to be able to nurse my baby. Despite having no idea how that path would play out, I knew that I could trust my instincts and proceed a step at a time into the dark, and that Heavenly Father would back me up. So my mom and Josh followed me back to the bedroom to give me some comfort while I tried pumping. I was in so much pain I was afraid even to do that.
Surprise surprise, it it caused very little hurt! The pump was very gentle and I was able to get enough out to feed my sweet baby. Mourning the loss of the bonding of skin contact, I shed some tears every time I fed Lydia from a bottle instead of on my skin. But I was so glad and relieved that I could feed my baby yummy breastmilk without torture for me. Those tears were gentle and mixed with deep, deep gratitude at this answer.
Next day, though, I woke up and noticed redness on my breasts that I knew was indicative of infection. I called the OB's office and explained my symptoms. They told me to come right in. Only Dr.Allphin was in, which was hard for me because male OBGYNs freak me out. However, Dr.Allphin rocks. I've never had a doctor express so much genuine sympathy for my pain. It was quite a comfort to my heart. He got me antibiotics and an ointment custom mixed by Mike's Pharmacy. By that evening, after loading up on both, I was feeling loads better. I couldn't believe I hadn't realized that something was going on besides just the outside damage!
Friday and Saturday, pumping continued as my answer for feeding Lydia. Pumping is kind of crazy. It's a lot of work, and I'm really impressed by the moms who exclusively pump! The pressure to provide enough for sweet baby was fairly intense, and I was always paranoid we'd need to supplement with formula. But we managed to keep up with her needs.
Inside and out, I'm doing much better. The ointment is miraculous and the antibiotics are definitely doing the job. I feel like Wolverine with how rapidly I've been healing! Also, I received so much wonderful advice in response to Josh's call for help. Specifically, a couple friends recommended trying a nipple shield. I put it on my shopping list but didn't take it too seriously. Then Josh's mom, true to her "good fairy" nature, snagged one for me from the store. By that night I had the guts to try it on my left, less-damaged side. The weird little thing works very well. It's a little inconvenient, but worth it for the opportunity it's given me to heal. Sometimes they get a bad rap. There's a really good article here with the basics on nipple shields. I recommend looking into them if you're having persistent latch or damage issues.
Actually, if possible, talk to a lactation consultant at the first sign of trouble. In a perfect world, there would be a lactation consultant in the room right after every delivery, so mom and baby could get off on the right foot from that first precious feed. But short of that, make sure you talk to one literally as soon as possible if something with breastfeeding doesn't seem right to you. Trust your gut. If you think something is wrong, it probably is!
Feeding still has some drama, as I'm still recovering from both the damage and the infection (okay, and from the shell shock from how crazy things have been). I'm coming to realize and trying to accept that the difficulty in feeding Lydia is more like a saga than a single bump in the road. I'll have moments where I think I'm home free and then have my bubble burst by a setback. Breastfeeding is a journey I need to be in on for the long haul. It's difficult facing that, but I'm getting there.
Wish me luck. Contact me if you need support, though I'm obviously no pro. Commiseration can be a welcome gift on its own, if nothing else. I've also figured out some latch tricks the I'd love to share with friends in need. Feed your babies. Breast is best. But also keep in mind some wonderful words of wisdom given by Josh's aunt Tonya: "sometimes it just doesn't work for mom or baby or both and women need to feel okay with that. Sometimes there is such a strong push for the nursing that we make moms feel overwhelmed and like failures when it just doesn't happen. ... Do what you can and whatever it happens to be, it's okay." And when you get discouraged, smell your baby's hair. You'll feel better.
She really fights to wake up when all she wants to do is look around at the world!
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Things are looking up!
Thanks to the counsel of family and friends Katie tried a nipple shield for breastfeeding. Thus far it is working wonders! That, combined with pumping, has put us 2 ounces of milk ahead of our baby. It's amazing the amount of security we get from such a small and simple thing.
In light of this wonderful news, instead of going on and on about breastfeeding let's talk about how wonderful it is to have a little baby.
Lydia smells amazing. I could hold her and sniff her hair for a long time and not get tired of it. She smells SO GOOD. I recognize that this may come across a little weird, but it's true. My baby smells amazing, and it makes me happy.
Lydia's eyes are gorgeous. She already has long eyelashes and several of them. When she locks eyes with you it's impossible not to notice how pretty her eyes are. It also amazes me how much intelligence I see in her when looking her in the eyes. I feel like my baby is quite smart, but unable to exercise her intelligence due to her age / lack of control of her body.
Related to the point above, I love how alert our little one gets. She looks around the room in wide eyed wonder and loves to see things. When she is awake she is really awake!
She farts like her daddy.
She is soothed by the sound of her parent's voices. This is a blessing that carries weight with it. I want to always be the kind of father that can soothe my children by communicating with them, or singing to them. It is precious to me when my baby is crying and I can come in and ask her what's wrong and she quiets down because she knows daddy is going to take care of her.
I love how close together our little girl is bringing Katie and I. We had a pretty darn good relationship before our daughter was born, but now that she's here my wife and I are required to work together more frequently, and it's been a blessing to our relationship. My love and respect for her grows with each passing day and she works hard at being the best kind of mother she knows how to be.
This next point is a bit of a negative thing, but for some reason it still sparks fatherly pride in me. Last night our little girl was awake from 2:45 am 'till a bit after 6 am. Because her father didn't secure her diaper around her legs well enough, she was able to pee all over her mom, and all over the bed completely missing her diaper. I don't know how her bladder got so full, she must have peed almost every ounce of milk from the entire day into that bed. Except I know she didn't because she peed on the changing area earlier that night while we were swapping her diaper. You go my little fire hydrant.
Picture Dump!
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| Right after Lydia's first bath. Happy Mommy! |
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| Catching some Z's |
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| Both of my hands were full. It seemed like the easiest place to store the pacifier. |
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| Auntie Alicia loves her niece!! |
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| Gotta love those facial expressions |
Friday, August 15, 2014
Mastitis
After a morning of tears and fears we made an appointment with Katie's OB and discovered that she most likely has mastitis. We will know for sure after this round of antibiotics. I feel pretty bad for Katie. We thought we had things figured out yesterday, but after using the pump we found out that it wasn't only the outsides hurting, it was the insides too. In my last post I posited that we had the right tools and the right perspective to make breastfeeding work. I was wrong. But hopefully now we have the right tools to make this work. After being beset by all these roadblocks and holes in the road, this effort is as much physical as it is emotional. I'm hoping we hit smooth pavement and can ride it all the way home now.
My family is awesome. Katie was able to pump enough for us to be safe leaving Lydia with the fam while we went to an impromptu doctors appointment and then to lunch afterwards while we waited for them to call in her prescriptions (We ended up having to wait 45 minutes at the pharmacist's anyway, but at least we tried!). It was our first time extendedly away from Lydia. We both missed her fiercely. (And don't worry, this was an exceptional occasion. We're not planning on being away from our little one again for a loooong time.) My sister sent us pictures of Lydia and the family during the day and Katie and I would "d'awwwww! So cute!" followed shortly by "I miss my baby!!" My mother picked up a large number of items from our list before showing up! Our bedroom is no longer doomed to smell like baby poo, as she grabbed us a trashcan with a lid! We don't have to worry about losing all the hospital paperwork, as she got us a small document container! We're not going to run out of new born diapers! These and other wonderful things were facilitated by the wallet and kind heart of my mother. So much gratitude!
I love how much my family loves my little girl! Lydia brings out the motherly side of Alicia so strongly! It's really cute to see how much her Aunt loves her, and how content she is in Alicia's arms.
We're trying to get ahead of Lydia's appetite using the pumps, but thus far we haven't been successful. She wants it all! Hopefully as we continue to pump we'll catch up.
Sometimes I feel like I should rename this blog to more accurately reflect its contents. Possibilities include:
My family is awesome. Katie was able to pump enough for us to be safe leaving Lydia with the fam while we went to an impromptu doctors appointment and then to lunch afterwards while we waited for them to call in her prescriptions (We ended up having to wait 45 minutes at the pharmacist's anyway, but at least we tried!). It was our first time extendedly away from Lydia. We both missed her fiercely. (And don't worry, this was an exceptional occasion. We're not planning on being away from our little one again for a loooong time.) My sister sent us pictures of Lydia and the family during the day and Katie and I would "d'awwwww! So cute!" followed shortly by "I miss my baby!!" My mother picked up a large number of items from our list before showing up! Our bedroom is no longer doomed to smell like baby poo, as she grabbed us a trashcan with a lid! We don't have to worry about losing all the hospital paperwork, as she got us a small document container! We're not going to run out of new born diapers! These and other wonderful things were facilitated by the wallet and kind heart of my mother. So much gratitude!
I love how much my family loves my little girl! Lydia brings out the motherly side of Alicia so strongly! It's really cute to see how much her Aunt loves her, and how content she is in Alicia's arms.
We're trying to get ahead of Lydia's appetite using the pumps, but thus far we haven't been successful. She wants it all! Hopefully as we continue to pump we'll catch up.
Sometimes I feel like I should rename this blog to more accurately reflect its contents. Possibilities include:
- Feeding Lydia, The Epic Journey
- Lydia and Company, The Photo Gallery
- TMI Time With Jolley
If you think of other fun titles, post them in the comments below.
Picture Dump!
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| Lydia's cousin made these for us! Aren't they awesome! |
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| This one is my favorite of the two. |
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| Auntie Alicia loves her niece! |
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| So does Auntie Jessica. I love Grandpa's smile here. |
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| Grandpa holds her so carefully. |
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| Sleeeeeeepy Lydia |
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| Yaaaaaawn! |
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| She looks so much like a monkey in this shot! |
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| This one too! |
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| Laying down on daddy's chest. |
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| Yay bonding! |
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| As a bonus, here's a pic of Grandpa napping |
Lydia Meets Daddy's Kin
My father, mother, and two of my sisters travelled 13 hours across country to meet Lydia today. It was really nice to get to introduce my little sweetheart to her grandma and grandpa and aunts for the first time. This is my parent's first grand baby, and boy did they seem happy to meet her and welcome her into the family. They brought us gifts of many clothes and the book Mother Goose Tales, and a nice wall hanging with Joy in big letters on it. It was nice to see everyone light up as they met my little bundle of joy. There is something special about my baby Lydia. I feel like her arrival in our family is going to generate a lot of love and closeness for us all, and that makes me really happy. God really knew what He was doing when He sent us Lydia.
\
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| I think Lydia's auntie Alicia was excited to meet her. |
Thank you to all of you who responded with help and advice for Katie and breastfeeding. We broke out the breast pump tonight and it barely hurt Katie at all. We're planning on pumping for the next few days to give her some time to heal and get back to ground zero. We've discovered that our baby won't explode if fed breast milk from a bottle. Go figure. Now that the pressure for perfection is gone Katie's spirits have risen a great deal. It is a massive relief to us both for that stress to be lifted from her. It's amazing what the right tools and a change of perspective can accomplish. I can't thank y'all enough for your help.
I feel a little selfish / self focused admitting this, but it's been very difficult for me these past few days attempting to support Katie through her pain and fears while also trying to care for Lydia so that mom can focus her attention on what counts. I haven't made time for my usual decompressing activities, and my battery has been running down pretty quickly. I'm really grateful that my family is here for a few days to help share this load with me, and I'm so glad that things are looking up for Katie. I feel weird admitting how hard it has been because when I reflect on the individual tasks I've had to do, it hasn't been that hard. Physically, all I've had to do is change diapers, bounce the baby, swaddle her, and run errands for Katie like prepping simple food and keeping her supplied with water. And while that does wear down the energy stores a little, the hardest things have been emotional. Maintaining a positive and encouraging attitude while my wife was sobbing in pain was difficult! At least it seems like the worst of this particular trial is over.
Those of you with children, what was the hardest part of the first week with your newborn for you?
Picture Dump!
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| Grandma gets to hold her grandbaby for the first time. |
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| There's a whole lot of love happening right here. |
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| Aunt love!! |
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| I don't know if babies this young can actually smile yet, but that looks a lot like a smile to me. |
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